Feeling Guilty After Eating

Imagine this scenario: You have been trying to eat healthy and then your son or daughter asks if you can take them out for ice cream because it’s a super hot day.  You agree to take them but promise yourself that you’ll “be good” and skip the ice cream. When you get there, you see all the delicious ice cream and end up getting a cone for yourself. Then, you end up feeling guilty after eating. This is food guilt, and it’s the topic of today’s post.

How common is it to feel guilty after eating?

If you feel guilty occasionally (or often) after eating, I want you to know: you are not alone. Guilt and shame are very common emotions around eating. And because you are not alone, dietitians like me have a lot of practice helping people navigate those feelings. Read on to learn about the origins of food guilt and what you can do to change your thought patterns. 

Where did food guilt come from?

• Diet culture perpetuates the ideas of good vs bad foods, clean eating vs cheat days, healthy food vs treats. Having this approach to food sets you up for food guilt; it lends itself to each meal or day feeling like either a success or a failure. 
• Diet trends present countless methods of how to “eat right” or how to eat the “healthiest.” It makes perfect sense, then, for you to feel bad or guilty about not eating perfectly when theoretically you know how you should be eating. 
• Some individuals also wrestle with perfectionism, which gives them an intense need to plan their meals and eat “the right way.” Or, sometimes it’s a desire for control that leads people to meticulously manage what they should eat. But if that eating plan gets interrupted, the guilt, shame, regret, or anger starts pouring in.

What does food guilt do to us?

Feeling guilty after eating can lead to a variety of negative consequences. 

• Guilt can slip you straight into the binge-restrict cycle. It’s a cycle of restriction, feeling overwhelmed, having an out-of-control eating experience and then back into guilt. (See image.)
• Food guilt can cause stress. High levels of chronic stress are not good for our health. Stressing about food- what you should eat, what you ate already, or what you you’re eating right now- does not contribute to a holistically healthy life. One of the things I work with clients on is reducing stress, or improving habitual stress management practices. 
• Food guilt negatively impacts mental health and overall well-being. I’m sure you’ve heard of (or maybe you practice them yourself!) positive affirmations being helpful in increasing self-confidence, boosting mood, and getting into a good head space. Feeling guilty about eating has the opposite effect. It makes you feel bad about yourself, decreases your self confidence, and emphasizes judgment and self-criticism.  

How to recognize food guilt

One of the first steps to changing your guilt patterns is noticing when it happens. I suggest taking a few moments before, during and after a meal or snack to do a check-in with yourself. What is your mindset like? Are you sensing any judgments about your food? I encourage you to imagine yourself like a passive, objective observer who is taking a look at your thoughts and mindset. What do you see happening there? 

Some questions you can consider as you’re doing this observation and notice some guilt coming up: What does it sound like in your inner dialogue? What does it feel like in your body? We take note of these so that you can catch it again next time and be alerted that the guilt might be trying to creep in.

Another important question to reflect on: what actions do you normally take next? If you feel guilty about what you ate, how much you ate, what you didn’t eat, etc. where do your actions or decisions often lead? Do you research a new diet plan? Do you plan to exercise to compensate? Identifying your patterns will be helpful in interrupting and redesigning them. 

How to stop feeling guilty after eating

At this point, maybe you’ve identified that you do struggle with feelings of guilt around food. What can you do to change this pattern? 

#1: Work on your relationship with your body. If you constantly feel at war with your body, like having a constant desire to manipulate its shape or size, it is likely to increase your food guilt. Making peace with your body and working on taking care of yourself with acceptance and kindness should help decrease food guilt. 

#2: Embrace intuitive eating. Intuitive eating is a way of eating and making food choices that is based on ten principles that encourage listening to your body and honoring its needs. Learning the ten principles and beginning to practice them is one of the most straightforward ways to quit chronic dieting. The principles correlate directly with reducing food guilt and giving yourself unconditional permission to eat any and all foods. 

#3: Foster self-compassion. Even once you make the decision to try and stop feeling guilty around food, your thought patterns won’t change overnight. Focus on having grace, compassion and patience with yourself as you work on this new relationship with food. 

#4: Seek support. It’s possible that you will need some outside help to envision and implement this new way of thinking about food and eating. I recommend working with an experienced dietitian or therapist who is well versed in disordered eating. It is amazing the progress that can be made once you bring in an outside voice of truth, evidence-based information and genuine care for your health. 

Conclusion

Food is necessary and you always deserve to eat. Being hard on yourself, or feeling guilt and shame around food is never going to be a part of a healthy, happy and peaceful life. Eating should be a positive, guilt-free experience that nourishes you. It should not be something that is a source of stress or shame. If you’re not making progress on your own in reducing guilt around food, reach out to a professional! I would love to talk to you about working together.