
The holidays bring so much joy- familiar smells, warm kitchens, people you love- but they can also bring something a lot of us secretly dread:
food comments.
The subtle remarks.
The body talk.
The observations about what’s on your plate – or what “should” be.
If you’ve ever walked into a holiday meal already bracing yourself, you’re not alone. Food comments can feel incredibly personal, even when people don’t mean them to be.
Several years ago, I sat down at a holiday table with a slice of warm, gooey chocolate cake. I hadn’t stopped moving all day, and this was the first moment I allowed myself to just be — to savor something comforting and familiar.
I took one bite, and someone (that didn’t know me very well) across the table smiled and said:
“Wow, I didn’t think dietitians ate desserts.”
It was meant as a joke.
But like many food comments, it hit me in a tender place.
In an instant, I felt myself fold inward- that subtle, old urge to defend myself, make light of it, or prove that yes, dietitians eat dessert, yes, I’m still “healthy,” yes, I do like to eat delicious food.
It wasn’t about the chocolate cake.
It was about the assumption underneath it- the idea that my worth or credibility could be measured by what I put on my plate.And this is exactly why food comments at holiday meals can sting:
They seem light on the surface, but they land somewhere deeper inside us.
Food comments, even the “innocent” ones can reopen old wounds:
This is why food comments can make your shoulders tense or your appetite vanish.
Your body remembers long before your brain catches up.
There is nothing wrong with you for feeling it.
Here’s the compassionate truth:
Most food comments aren’t actually about your food choices.
They’re about:
Their comment is a window into their story, not a reflection of yours.
You don’t have to carry it.
Here are a few grounded, compassionate responses that protect your peace:
You don’t owe anyone justification for your hunger, your appetite, or your body.
When a food comment hits especially unexpectedly try one of these gentle tools:
This brings you back into your body.
It creates space between the comment and your reaction.
“This is touching an old place.”
“This feels familiar.”
Naming reduces the emotional charge.
What do I want right now?
What feels good to me?
Compassion. Permission. Satisfaction. Presence.
Not performance.
Many people think the hard part is the comment itself, but often, the real sting shows up later:
In the car.
In the shower.
When the house is finally quiet.
If you find yourself replaying the moment, try saying:
Your healing is not measured by your ability to stay unbothered.
It’s measured by how gently you come back to yourself.
My hope is that this year, you walk into your holiday table with:
You deserve connection and comfort.
You deserve satisfaction.
You deserve to take up space without apology.
You don’t have to do this work alone.
I help teens and adults heal their relationship with food using a compassionate, non-diet approach — especially during moments when food comments and body talk feel overwhelming.
If you’re craving more peace, more trust in your body, and more support this holiday season, I’d love to help.
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Forget diets. Find freedom with food, peace with your body, and joy in your life.
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